We as humans make major changes in life and as humans we have evolved so much over a period of time, with technology, social media, clothing trends, etc. But one thing that hasn’t changed over this period of time is the expected ‘timeline’ for us to settle down, get married, and have children, all before our ‘biological clocks’ time out.
I’m in my late 20’s and most of my girlfriends are in relationships (or relationshits as I like to call them). I used to feel like I was always the one either getting left behind or the one so awkwardly tagging along with my friends on their date nights. Not to mention I used to shamelessly cry myself to sleep at night, when I would realize that the only thing/object I was coming home to, was my ride or die stuffed animal Mr. Oats, a horse of course.
One day, as I was out with my girlfriends on a much-needed wine tasting adventure, I found myself and my thoughts in a second bottle of rose. I’m not sure whether it was the bubbles or just a waking moment but I realized I was truly much better off being single than they were being in relationships. I had to thank them all for this realization—after all, if it hadn’t been for them continually complaining about their fake relationshits or arguing over who had the best #couplestatus, I’d still be thinking their lives were bliss while mine was shit.
Those very thoughts brought me to this very conclusion: being single in your 20’s is the most beautiful and life-liberating experience! So, while some days you may feel hopeless, I can promise you that the journey in finding yourself and who you truly are is well worth the wait. I promise if you are patient with yourself you’ll find you won’t have to repeat that vicious cycle of being the ever so single one. So if you feel hopeless or lonely, I hope you can look back on these 6 ways to realizing that being single in your 20’s is nothing but pure enjoyment.
1. Learn that the only validation you need is from within
Maybe it was because I wasn’t in the right relationship but I often would get so frustrated when a partner would not compliment me on my accomplishments, no matter how big or small. However, over time and being alone with myself, I have learned that the only validation I need is from within. I have learned to compliment myself when I look good and congratulate myself when I meet my goals or accomplish achievements. I am truly the only one who matters when it comes to myself!
2. The spiritual connection in finding yourself
So often when we get into relationships we lose who we are because we are so focused on catering to our partner’s every need. I know we have all been there and that’s OK. However, if we take the time in being alone we can truly dig deep down into ourself and ask the important question… what is your true purpose in life?—what is your true calling? Are you doing what you can to accomplish this purpose or calling?
3. You can pursue your own dreams and aspirations
It’s always nice to share dreams and aspirations with a partner. However, your partner cannot replace your own personal goals. In order to have a fully loving and shared experience with another human being, you must first know how to make yourself happy and fulfilled. If you are unhappy at work, don’t expect a partner to fill that void. Your partner should be that accent to your life—like that great pair of earrings!
4. You are unbound by any chains
This one is my absolute favorite! You have no one to hinder you from traveling to certain places in the world and you have no one to answer to. If you decide to wake up and book a flight to Tahiti—you can. You are free to go anywhere at any time. If you want to wear that special dress—go for it. If you want to eat at YOUR favorite restaurant—go for it. That little voice that used to say, “Wonder if he’s OK with this, wonder if he’ll like it, wonder if this fits his style,” has been silenced and replaced by a loud, happy, boisterous shout of being oneself!
5. You can spoil yourself
In the past you spent time writing little notes of support and purchasing that special something to please him. You took great pride in making him happy, in pleasing him. If he was happy, you were happy. Your priority was to please him first and foremost. Not anymore! Now you can pamper yourself. Book that day at the spa. Spend a little extra and get that dress you know you’ve been wanting. Who says that little red sports cars are just for men! Go for it!
6. You will learn to better appreciate the things you have
You are able to understand the importance of family and having just the simple things in life. I know one thing for certain, I’ve found closer relationships within my family and have a better understanding of being grateful for all that I have. No longer do I have to decide between him, HIS family or mine. I have managed to reconnect with my siblings and parents in a way I couldn’t if he was still in the picture. I even have a closer connection with my sweet little dog!
So, if any of these ring true for you… you ARE better off without him. A relationship may seem ever so tempting but I encourage you to truly embrace being single. You are still young, you still have your youth. Go ahead and take that biological clock bullshit and smash it to the ground. Take out your phone and book your next trip to a place you’ve been dying to visit. Take out a pen and paper and write down all the facets of your life that make you amazing—and while you’re at it, make a list of all the ways you can spoil yourself! I promise that if you embrace your singleness, there will be someone out there who is willing to cherish YOU and who will want to embrace you as well.